i don't know
what's making me show
my screen glow
in this dark dark room
where all i have is gloom
i have everything
yet nothing at all
so many numbers
but none that i could call
too many blessing to count
yet so much self doubt
my dad's playing his good old songs
my mum's watching her series
yet here i've been sitting for so long
that my own head seems eerie
it's pouring out
the silence too loud
i miss a friend i had
his memories making me sad
there's none so bold
to ever fall for me
i've been told
i'm pretty
yet the irony
that none think i'm worth
i too curse my birth
i also miss my sister
her death gave my soul blisters
that still bleed and will never heal
i don't want to feel
just an adrenaline rush
a sext here; there a crush
nothing permanent
nothing to cement
just give me an hour i crave
i promise, after that i'll behave