I'm starting to wonder what is wrong with me. Is there something I need to fix inside me? Am I that crazy for what I feel and think I see? It's like every man I meet is crazy or just uses me. Say they love me but I don't feel it honestly. Say I'm crazy but why is how I feel bad of me? How am I wrong for how I feel or what I see? It's not like they've proved my negativity was just me overthinking overseeing. Just talk **** and point the finger at me. Blames me for their wrongdoing aimlessly. Didn't see one for two months. Second night he asked if I'd go to a swingers club with him but oh I'm the ignorant one for taking it wrongly. I don't have to do anything but it's okay how you asked that of me? The one who says they love me. But I'm wrong for saying you don't care about me? Hmm...I'm not the one trying to **** every one apparently. I'm stupid for make-believe. Oh I'm crazy because all I feel is dishonesty. Or how you're just using me. I know what it takes to prove love and that's loyalty, honesty not a facade they show me. They just talk **** for their own make-believe. The problem is men. So ******* close-minded. Ignorant, so they blame me. First cheated and denied but I'm crazy? Married the second one and twelve **** years of ****** mentality. A know it all and wrong when Id tried to show something different. A new way to see. Saying you can't talk to me because all I do is cut you off. I'm trying to tell you, hey I found something and I think you should see. But it doesn't matter because you don't really care honestly. It only matters how you feel, how you see. So I'm wrong for telling you this is why I can't talk to you because everything is just on me? I'm not the one who pushes away anything other than how I want to feel and how I want to see. But I'm crazy? Men who think they're smarter than me. Knows I don't want to **** but brings out ***** and it's not clear how you just lied to me? Call me ****** crazy, harass me out the blue but it's all on me? How about I spent all my money on you then turn around ask for money barely talk to me but you're not using me? You hate negativity. I see quite clearly. I must be mute. Not have feelings to even be with any of you. **** that negativity.