you're on my mind again. though i left you back in the year of my downfall, i want you to know that i forgive you. no matter how vividly i remember feeling so numb, taking you to a place no one had been before i was ready to. taking my innocence and stretching it into an unrecognisable form, pulling it out like barbed wire through my open wounds. though, despite all of this despite knowing that i probably should hate you and the realisation that you never really truly loved me. i couldn't help but love how my blood looked on your hands, nesting deeply under your chipped black fingernails. i hated to admit that maybe just maybe, i loved how vulnerable you made me
it's been two years and i'm accepting the fact that this day every year will never get easier