I'm not sure what I did this time
To **** up **** like I always do
I end up ruining everything
Should've known this would go south too
Maybe my troubled mind is to blame
Why would anyone dare come close?
The fact I'm alone tells me all I need to hear
I'll never be what you want the most
Or perhaps I am too needy
It's obvious I come with baggage
I don't expect you to not only carry
But help me heal the damage
That's more than anyone should do
I understand why you're staying away
Caught a glimpse of me at my lowest
Want no part of that ugly clique
I can make myself look pretty
With the right makeup and tools
But to expect you to be attracted without
I must of been a ******* fool
You were already too good for me
That much is painfully clear
After witnessing a sliver of the monster within
Why did I expect you to still be here?
It was silly of me to get my hopes up
I knew that from the start
Naive to entertain the idea
Of one day giving you my heart
Perhaps I came on too strong
Scared you away with my advances
I'm not asking you to be solely mine
I just enjoyed our fleeting glances
But who am I to ask for your presence?
We don't really know eachother at all
I'm sure after spending a short time together
For anyone else you'd rather fall
I really am an idiot
For not seeing things the way I should
Deep down I was aware I am not special
Blinded because you made me feel good
It was such a nice distraction
From the constant sadness I feel
Now I question all my surroundings
Unsure of what is and isn't real
But that's what I get for getting my hopes up
Just because we shared one special night
We have no commitments hanging overhead
You are perfectly within your right
But I still dont know what I did wrong
To make your interest suddenly decline
Before my desperation was revealed
Our friendship was totally fine
But you definitely deserve more than me
A loser who whines and complains
Self-deprecation is a turn-off
But it's what I truly believe in my brain
I dont know what drew you to me in the first place
Suppose timing was mostly the key
I should've known you'd get sick of me soon enough
No one is dumb enough to stick around me
I dont know why you no longer care
I don't know why I do
Something so insignificant shouldnt bother me
But I guess I was smitten with you
I suspected I wasnt the only one
You talked to smooth and sweet
But wishful thinking is a real *****
Leading me straight to defeat
It wouldn't be called a crush
If it wasn't supposed to hurt
My heart may have already been broken
But it felt better when we would flirt
So thank you for your breif affection
And I am sorry for whatever flaws drove you away
I just wish you'd give an explanation
For why you are being this way