Still waiting,
like a bird with broken wings,
waiting for the breeze to carry me beyond.
But I am still stuck in here,
a place far north to my heart,
where emotions dwell with a lookout,
where my soul might be a tenant but never the master.
In my void of thoughts, everything is a slave to Fear.

It now rules my emotions that I finally have someone to lose.
The demons from my past often knock,
but they just don’t seem to make through.
Those demons seem so minuscule in front of the fears that now lives in me.
Now my tears roll down very easily,
do my tears signify that I am losing to my fears?
Or Have I lost the will to hide them anymore?
The feeling that you might be holding someone too close,
and once that person lets you go,
your reality may be torn between your questions,
questions to yourself, and questioning yourself.
The fear that what you might need is too much
or maybe what you did was too little.
The feeling of letting go and setting free seems to be different.
they are more powerful than mere words.
Every silence to my goodbyes.
Every distance to my differences.
My fears are growing,
Cause I have seen this happen,
I have lived through this ordeal a million times.
I don’t want to be lost again
running around nameless,
fear of not belonging to my emotion,
fear of not having someone to share my tears with,
fear that I won’t hear a smile,
fear that all this was just an empty promise,
fear that I might be abandoned by the ones I held close.

Now that they have grown beyond my arms,
not the smiles but the scars would remind them of me.
The fear is taking shape,
he seems to be in vibrant
shades of my doubts and insolence.
perched on my shoulder,
whispering to me,
“You never meant anything to those whom you called yours.”

Still when I might be too occupied to write,
I know my thought fuelled by fear,
are the scariest places to dwell.