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netasha Jan 5
I wish I had enough money to not ask my
Friends for handouts
For I love them so much and the last thing I want is for them to feel Used
I wish I could drop my addiction to these
Things
But I am a creature of habit, and fall victim to my vices.

As I would much rather drown my pain in a
Carbonated kamikazee flight than return to my Still ever-present Ways
My diabetic railroad has, for now at least,
Pushed over the jagged rock and unpaved road
That I travelled,
Barefoot, burning, and cutting at me with each step

Even now, as I fly down the railway
I often find myself opening the door and
Sitting on the edge either not
Caring or wishing I had enough drive to leap off,
Back onto that torn-up road,
Travelled by far too many people

And maybe, I might be able to get back up and walk
That road.

Or maybe as I jump
I won't be able to walk that road
And be made just another jagged rock
Cutting at someone else's poor beaten body
For everyone knows by now that I'm bad with words.

Messy i know, sorry
Just a vent i suppose
netasha Jan 5
Trying to control this
Is like trying to tie a ribbon to a lightning bolt
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