i was on top of the world today with the feeling of being unstoppable mania coursing through my veins childlike with no ounce of regret i can face every fear i’ve ever had until i stepped into the dark only then i realized that happiness is temporary i sat on the edge and watched myself plunder remembering a blanket of gray washing over me everything i own drained of color lifeless watching my younger self turn to dust realizing it was only a dream a dream i wish i could play in forever my aspirations and goals gone my sense of wonder obliterated thrusted into deep feelings of regret and loneliness why am i like this why must my brain sabotage every ounce of happiness i can muster