The spider stopped coming 'round one day
After a rather short-lived affair
It all happened in an innocent way
When he asked me for more spray for his hair.

As I was busy reading a book
I mistakenly grabbed the can of raid
I gave him a squirt, he looked at me with such hurt
And said, "Well played, my love, well played."

Then he slowly turned away from me
And marched stoically out of my sight
I have to admit that I was rather sad
When he didn't come see me that night.

I find it hard to believe that he suspected me
Of having premeditated this plan
He never gave me a chance to explain to him
That in fact I simply grabbed the wrong can.

So another couple of weeks went by
And I got back to my normal routine
Then one fine day, come as it may,
There appeared another spider on my window screen

He came in and sat beside me
Much like the one before
I looked at him, and said, "Oh no! Not again!"
And I got up to head for the door.

He ran after me, screaming "please wait!"
"Please lady, let me explain to you—
The one who came before me was my cousin,
And he wanted you to know his love was true."

I see your discomfort and it saddens me so
I really only wish to be your friend
I promised my cousin I would look after you
And so I shall until the bitter end."

He asked me if I'd like to join him for dinner
And winked at me with three of his seven little eyes
I said "I think that would be interesting, but it really wouldn't work,
Because you don't eat pasta, and I don't eat flies."

Then he motioned to me sayin' watch me now—
He threw his little fuzzy hands up in the air
And as if he heard some music playing on the radio
he began to dance around like he just didn't care!

I watched as he moved to his imaginary beat
And for having eight legs he really danced quite well
So I stood up, and began to feel the rhythm flow
And I danced, and he danced, til upon us morning fell

My spider friend came to visit each night
Before I knew it several weeks had gone by
I found myself really enjoying his companionship
Together we made quite a team, my spider and I.