I just heard of a store
In Washington D.C. of course
A quaint little nook
Called Books By The Foot

Where you order your volumes
Or whatever you call them
To make you look smart
More than you really are

Never once read a chapter?
Well that doesn't matter
Or even a page?
Don't let that get in your way

From checking them out
Just measure your shelf
Then give them a call
They gladly install

Your colleagues will say, who knew!
As they tune to view you in Zoom
With your shelves filled to the gill
Of unpronounceable books you can't even spell

Remember this if you're here to impress
Late night dates or drunk party guests
Give google a nod and a look
They're rightly called Books By The Foot