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Dec 2020
You know when you are driving home at night and you zone out for what feel like a millisecond
but all of a sudden you’re one turn away from home and your first thought is, “wait, how am i here already?”

Somehow safely zoned out, yet still being able to control a vehicle.

But your mind -- in limbo -- between real & subconscious.

A minute or so of serenity.

Clarity, if just for a moment.

A frozen path to happiness.

What’s really interesting though, are the driveway thoughts.

“I don’t want to go through that door.”

Why?

Because going inside means that today is over and if today is over then tomorrow is coming and if tomorrow is coming then i have to do this again and I don’t want to do this again.

Going through all of the motions like I know what I’m doing.

I don’t.

I’ve been playing a part for years so no one will suspect how close i am getting to giving up.

Lungs, ya know, they get tired.

Makes you think -- if we didn’t breathe subconsciously, would i do it myself?
Sydney
Written by
Sydney  27/F
(27/F)   
98
 
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