Sadness creeps over me, welcoming me back to the bottom like an old friend. Dulness and pain is everything my heart is feeling. Numbness fills up all of my body reminding me that I’ve hit rock bottom; once again.
The late nights staring at the dark nothingness of my ceiling while sad tunes fill my tears and rivers of tears roll down my cheek, My ears are then filled by sad tunes that become the background music of the horrible thoughts I have.
I’m always wondering if there really is someone out there to come and help me, and for someone to help understand since when has looking at myself in the mirror ever been so disgusting? When most of the time I have to change in the darkness of my bathroom so I don’t see myself.
But you know what they say: be strong, you’ll get through this, you’re a fighter. The reality of it all is that you don’t know the first thing about me. You don’t know about the demons I fight everyday that are constantly yelling at me to end it all.
You don’t know about the knot in my throat reminding me of just how emotional and fragile I am. You don’t know that I control this pain by giving me more because remember: no battle is won without a little bit of pain.