They've been working on this for years
Inside the government
To try a replace the brain of man
With that of a purple eggplant

This idea to me sounds genius
If you know what it is that I mean
People round here might start making sense
Pass the veggies if you please

They called all the top notched scientists
And vegetarians throughout the land
To see what would be the best variety
In this eggplant transplant experiment

They settled on the aubergine
Great Brittan's joy and pride
When it comes to the perfect eggplant
Those Limey's will not be denied

They were afraid if they went to the private sector
That person would surely be missed
So they grabbed someone unsuspecting
Inside of the government

They told the low level employee
A bit of truth mixed with a little white lie
They needed him for his vast understanding and knowledge
Plus they'd be serving cookies on the side

They added a little something to the cookie dough
That knocked the governmental genius to his knees
Plopped him down on the gurney
...Let the experiment proceed if you please

They cracked his skull wide open
Where upon they couldn't believe their eyes
Right there inside of his cranium
Already an eggplant did reside