He just wants to lay on the beach
with his belly so fat he can't see to
teach his toes how to tingle
and then wonders why
he's still a single guy.

The gymnasium's next to the aquarium
but he's a fish out of water
can't breathe at the thought of
exercise.

One day the tide will come in
attached to a ******' big fin
and the shark underneath
will be the finish
of him.