I rest my head against the last bottle of squash I had in my house

watching the patches of worn-out paint on the ceiling

thinking about the number of times it had been repaired in 21 years

have seen almost every color of sewing thread in all these years, we have come far

there was a time when we didn't have options

"either A or B"

my mother would ask me every time we were at the super market

A was tomato ketchup

B was green chili sauce

it was hard to choose between things

when you don't know what you love less

but I loved my mother more

I didn't want to be there with my father

so I have to choose

without any escape

mama was beautiful

but she was never hungry

and today when I brought both of the sauces

she didn't want to taste any of it

"what brings you home so late?"

she asks this almost every day now

and I realized it was never about A or B for her

and options were the case for a naive mind

there is a long way to go until I can think of myself as a little wise whenever answering her