Eight minutes ago,
I sat on my bathroom floor.
I had been there for a while.
Waiting between work shifts.

Seven minutes ago,
for the first time in a long time,
I planned my end
right there on the tiles.
I contemplated
getting my affairs in order,
my will,
where to do it,
the best method
of execution.

Six minutes ago,
I hadnt been that decisive in so long.
I felt so ready.
I didnt even feel sad.
Just ready.
The before and after of that moment
ceasing to matter in my head.

Five minutes ago,
I stood up
staring my reflection down
in the mirror
and I thought

Lets give it a few more minutes.