i cried last night
and this night
i wrapped myself in misery
and sat alone
in the dark
feeling my despair
and alone-ness

take note,
not my usual
the universe is vast
i am in the void
loneliness
i can handle that
i am used to that

just a
i don't want to be alone tonight
alone-ness
a
what the hell is going on?
alone-ness

but
realist that i am
i knew no one was
coming for me
and
i would call
for no one else

the key to a semi-happy life
is simply
sufficient distraction
just the right
balance
of passion
and love
and energy
that's it.

so i distracted myself
shook off
my gravity pulling sadness
by turning on m u s i c
turning lights down
moving hips to sound
putting wine to mouth
(peanut m&m;'s don't hurt)
and neither does
other writer's
poetry

see?
i'm ok
distracted
by my distractions
in circles of vibrating
cycles of wants and
distractions

don't tell
but i'm keeping a
few secrets from you
i'm hiding some of
my words
i'm frustrated
by the way
my words fly out
or don't

hush.

it's exhausting
keeping myself
on the road
to happiness

ha.