I stood in front of the mirror until four in the morning. I counted the imperfections in my face, multiplied them by ten & called it the imperfections in my head.

I wrote to you until eight in the morning. Counted every "I'm sorry" scratched in red pen on white pages, multiplied them by ten & called it the guilt scratched into the blue of my veins.

*I listened to your album until two in the afternoon. Counted every mention of her eyes, multiplied them by ten & called it suicide.