To get lost and to let loose.
To lay down in the garden of Eden.
To breathe the air of serenity, to be free.
That’s all I’ve ever wanted.

But these inhibitions tie me down.
And these recurring wars never stop.
I never learn.

And I keep drowning in this sadness.
There is no way out.
Among the laughters across the table,
was mine that wasn't so genuine.

Because I’d get stuck in thoughts.
The kind that never helps.
Are you really happy?
Are you really okay?

I look at you in the mirror---
You’re full of love, but you’re full of pain.

- c.s. (090917)