laying with myself
pleading for my freedom
tryna find peace
yet it’s fleeting
envisioning flying away
to a better day
even if it’s fluttering
just as i see my heart to be
in tumultuous moments

potent poison of
joy’s deprivation
sputtering words,
used as shutterbugs
for my vulnerable soul
they hit the ground, shattering
deaf ears do take a toll
praying that i cover ground
on my journey to the beyond
pound for pound against my demons
this search for solace
made me strong
patience rooted in me
all i know is
He never did me wrong

my measurement of hope’s
relative to the
lack of faith i may feel
treacherous, hopeless moments
times i wanna keel over
my measurement of tomorrow
is always relative to my yesterdays
pain of missed opportunity
or times i pray don’t fade away
my measurement of joy
is relative to my sorrow
lack of self-worth
or a sobering to the time that
we have borrowed

my relativity is deemed
a detriment
i’m sure of it
my self-assessment has
never been without context
droughts in my mental
that’s why i end up despondent
or one-track minded on
the basis of my false promises
i give them to myself
i truly have no one to blame
aching, scathing pain
all i can do is pray
for better days

- negassie