when my mind is finally made up
now I can think clearly on this
and I am having an easier time saying good bye.
I will miss these things now, but I will have another chance to come
back with Venus' blessing:
the responsibilities on me will be passed onto another
for they will be able to execute.
I believe these will be key to helping the ones around me now,
for the immeasurable way of not being able to change
and low amount of money is surmountable:
for I think Venus will knock on all of their doors to deliver them a gift,
after I give my final gift of departure.
I don't think these things will be missed, not the messy room, or the messes made, or the tears dropped, or the smiles dropped, or the stressed caused, or the money spent, or the time wasted.
I can leave at peace knowing the Sun will continue to go out: for this message in the bottle should not reach the warmth,
this will stay in the cold void. Why would Venus be so far from me? Why would she be far? Why from me? Did I scare her?
And I know in this world we live in, in this material world, Venus reigns as the Queen and she is what gives us these things. She is what causes soothing and alleviation and distracton. She allows physical form to give distraction. To live in a world oh so shallow, I cannot bother to live in these waters and breathe these airs.
It's formidable.
Each twang of my heart: and for some reason, this time, today it is easier to contemplate this. It used to hurt my heart or make my jaw twitch, but not today. I feel as if I can ease into this, the only thing that happens is a slight ache in my head that makes tears fall, but my body and mind and heart has been preparing for this moment and day. I always knew this would happen, where Neptune would take me back. No scenes or dramatic, quietly, and in mist Neptune would allow me to leave: I can't help but feel so cold.