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Aug 2020
I woke up with a headache
the morning greeted the pain like a friend
The hunger for relief was insatiable
However, instead of getting up for coffee and medicine
I stayed in bed and lingered under the sheets.

I don't know why
But as my thoughts began to reverberate
And echo, i forced myself to listen to the whispers
Materializing in the back of my head,
The silent sizzle of white noise
bled through every nook and cranny of my
Dilapidated bones and skull
And from it arose a call
A message I am well fond of:

It beckoned the future;
It crept in my bed like an old lover
And here it sang a lullaby that lulled me to sleep
Stroked my hair; it cradled my doubts
And bottle fed my insecurities,
It nurtured my over thinking mind
And in my dreams they blossomed
And manifested into nightmares.

There the weight on my shoulders
Got colder and more overbearing
Above me the clouds were made of concrete,
Falling ever so slowly.
I noticed the ball and chain
Around my ankles made me unable to move
However, as moments passed, i felt like i was
Or  everything around me was.
My world became a whirlpool
Looking out from the center of a hurricane
I watched as things go whizzing past me.

My heart started racing towards something
It tried to grasp on a reality in front of me and when reality
Would come to brush the tips of my fingers, it would vanish.
And I am realized of my stagnant state
As the wind began to leave
Carrying with it my aspiration and hoping
I feared  I can no longer move
And my chase would be futile;
I can no longer escape
I am forever trapped
Waiting for the clouds to crush me.

I was feeling the weight around my ankles
Daring myself to take the step.
Daring myself to live.
And when the urge finally came to grab hold of my senses

I woke up.

The future left without saying goodbye
But i know it would be back soon
Like a lover, unsatisfied
The sun had decided to take its leave
But my headache had not.
It sat still on my head ringing the distant tones
The lullabies sung,
The distant echoes of my now unforeseen future.
Bob
Written by
Bob  19/M/Philippines
(19/M/Philippines)   
183
     Autumn and iixiixixvii
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