full to bursting — all I want, and just as quick as can receive it.
...and truly, can’t conceive of but believe you-me it’s real, life of late a lucid dream: all déjà vu and vivid greens of lush and sparkling everything, there is a future slate so clean atop of fossils pressed between, and other treasures altogether measure depths of dated things.
millennia many, lifetimes aplenty I’m blundering nirvana-toward. transforming and crushed back to life, back to dust one thing’s certain: I’ve never been bored.
full disclosure: the original journal entry starts “I wish I could shake the dread & just feel lucky I am so lucky I’m getting everything I want as quickly as I can possibly receive it
hands full”
...I was not getting what I wanted. but some of those things can still be true.