when i look at you it fills the despondent void of what i didn't have
when i look at you it fills space to love harder needed from the past
when i look at you i am full of happiness no longer helpless
when i look at you there's a kid celebrating those victories fought
he is a spirit who goes to rest knowingly that you avenged him
Tried haiku like poems. definitely was a battle. I'm referencing my ability to smile. I often obsess over pictures of myself being happy and I've realized it's because there has never been a chance in my childhood to be myself, authentically and unapologetically. When I embrace my happiness, it's to fill the voids of unacceptance, and never feeling adequate as a kid. I recognize both behaviors, but as I grow closer to adulthood, it's something to think about.