The older I get the more conscious I am of the way pain and trauma move through my body
I have spent the past 6 years continuously moving to avoid the gravity of everything as it tries to settle itself on top of me
Through distractions and over piling my work load I was momentarily freed through acts that would require my full attention
Rarely things would slip through the cracks
But it was easy to maintain then
Now here I am as pain rests on the top of my skull traveling forward, slipping its way to the roof of my mouth or traveling backward and seizing the nape of my neck
The body doesn’t forget I was told a year ago
It reminds me of trees recording their own pasts
Vulnerability was something I had never been taught but have forced myself to face as I knew that what is dying will rot if not cut away immediately
To deal with this pain and to hold it in my hands after long sessions of back and forth pleading and probing
I set out now on a new mission to properly bury the remains and in return I will grow again