I wonder when the infection started

when did that darkness
in my heart begin to grow

like a vine, wrapping around
my arteries, until it became them

blood flow cut off,
until I couldn’t feel my fingers

was I always this cold to the touch?

freezing to the point that
I may as well have been a corpse

depression, they call it

darkness
despair
death

it pulls at my veins, like a tug of war

and it wins, every time