if this was a suicide note
i would say i’m sorry.
i’d fill the holes of my broken life
with flowery words on paper.

if this was a suicide note,
i would ask for forgiveness.
i’d beg that you wouldn’t think too hard
or be burdened by my passing.

if this was a suicide note,
i would spill all my secrets out-
like milk on a table.
i’d tell the truth
and i’d bare my soul that has long since gone.

if this was a suicide note,
i’d let you in.
like the children who long to return home once the sun has set,
i’d let you in.

but this is not.

so the holes stay empty,
the milk in its glass.
the children play on the streets in the sun.
and i am still here.