If I choked, would you notice my lack of breath?
Would you recognize my world filming over
In my eyes?
The air in my lungs have
ALWAYS
Struggled around you.
My heart skips when you speak.
My brain
FIZZLES OUT
When you smile.
And you tell me how much I'm worth to you...


But you are a
TOWNHOUSE
In my city.
My emotions are the clouds, soaring so far overhead...
You'd barely catch a glimpse.
I'm glad our hearts beat to the same love
But you will never witness me breaking.
You will never watch me melt into the floor,
PRAYING
and
CRAVING
That I could wake up in another life at a moment's notice.

IF you watched me
BREAK
Inside, you'd see me for me.
And baby...
I'm scared of myself.
I'm scared of what I'll do if I lose.
If I lose.
If I lose.
If I lose the game of life.

I will never let you watch me break because
IF
I did, you'd realize
My arms hold
SCARS!
My lungs hold
DRUGS!
And my body ******* CRADLES
Bruises.

So yes, I know how much I'm worth to you.
But you only pay for what you eat, right?
Why read the fine print?

This is not a bad thing.
I have been using a mask for years and
NOW
after so long...?


I feel the ache.


I wanna show you all of me.
All clothes, no mask.
Me.

And
THAT
Is IF.

Is that bad?