more often than not
where i get my gum
is not off any shelf
but underneath table tops

though the flavor is off
you can't beat the cost
and with only a chew or two before you
have it all back to soft

embarrassed or not
just drop out of sight
as you're coming back up
use your knife to slice

there's an array of variety
that is so cheep it's free
to tickle the tongue
and dazzle the teeth

so next time you see
that you're out to eat
and you drop the knife on my advice
there's no need to thank me