I once was a Person far too set in my ways
to realize how much what I didn't do
hurt the person I love.
I one was a Person too consumed by Self
to see past it's Illusion
and into the beautiful Truth of my life.
I once was a Person lucky enough to be close to you;
and though you say I didn't fail, I sure feel like I did.
I may not have failed you, but I sure failed myself in the process.
Maybe I didn't, but it sure made me think
about how I could change;
and Change has been made.
I'm sorry for the things I did that I shouldn't have
and for the things I didn't that I should have.
I'm terribly sorry my actions and inactions
made you seek your course of recourse.
I hope you can find it in your heart to give me another chance,
I know you may well not want to, and I don't blame you;
Time can be good.
To quote another poem of mine; Age:
"It does take Time
to find and travel your Path,
but it can begin at any Time,
and one can stray at any Time."
I'm sorry I strayed.
I think it can begin anew.
More beautiful.
We had something.
What's gone is gone.
We have potential.
We can begin anew;
begin something new
and more wondrous
than either of us can imagine:
I think we can grow together,
You nourish me.
I want to do the same for you.
I love you.
I miss you.
I adore you.
I miss you so much.
You complete me.
I know it sounds cheesy.. but it's true.
Last weekend at the wedding
when I laid down with you sobbing
about the things I was sobbing about
I had a realization:
I can see myself marrying you;
perhaps not quite yet, but I'd be down.
Normally thinking of marriage freaks me out,
but with you it doesn't.
It would be an honor.
You push me towards a better me
even if I've unintentionally resisted:
(That's part of what's changed
I see how I've been resisting now.
Sorry it took so ******* long ><)
You got me to write things down and share them.
You got me to try new things and to push my comfort zone.
You inspire me to pursue my passions;
to not be ashamed to get in front of People and share them.
You think in ways that the Ordinary can't even imagine.
You make me feel like I belong and that I am loved..
Something so very precious is being lost;
within me
and between us
I really hope we haven't thrown all hope out the window.
I think we have something far too dear to just toss out.
We both need to change, for ourselves and each other,
but I feel that we can do that together. Perhaps better.
I'm really truly sorry it took me losing you
to make me realize what I already had in you.
I'm really sorry it took what it took:
I'm really sorry it took so much Time.
-
I was stubborn and stupid.
I strayed.
We all can.
I value things differently now.
We all should.
My Shadow and Ego had been puppeteering my Mind,
but I've felt the metamorphosis, the renewal, the cleansing;
the Change has crept up and consumed me.
My Worldview has shifted, from the inside turning out.
The World is more beautiful now;
and so are you.
You are the full Moon
in the night of my Mind.
I know I truly love you.
[Please, Forgive me.]
I feel a heavy void within me, tearing my soul
I feel like crying, but the tears escape me.
I want to scream but I have no voice.
I want to hold you..
At least I slept last night.. that's improvement.