What is this recklessness in me?
I was always so cautious, so precise
Now I just... I just don’t care
I want to know what happens
If I drive a little faster
If I’m honest with my mother
If I skip my meds... one day... two days...?
If I took a few more... a little of this, a little of that?
How many drinks before they know what’s wrong?
How many scars can I show before someone cares?
Now there’s not really enough left of me to worry about
Genuine concern replaced with a sick curiosity
The question “How much will hurt me?”
Has been traded for
“How much hurt before I’m stopped?”