I think of you often.
When I'm driving
or right before bed.
I think of the way things ended..
how we seemed perfect only weeks before,
and then in a flash,
you were taken from me.
I don't think I've ever cried so much
as I did that night.
I couldn't even go to school the next day.
The truth is,
I miss you.
I miss how you were the one
who was always there for me.
You never left,
even when I came crying to you,
even when I ignored you.
I miss the way you push me,
as messed up as that seems.
How we'd spend hours together,
and by the end,
I'd be hunched over;
exhausted and sweating.
How you'd bruise me and make me bleed.
But I craved to touch you,
and feel you in my hands.
I'll never forget every lesson you taught me,
good and bad.
And even though I see you sometimes,
on a Saturday night..
I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy
when you're with other girls.
You have influenced my life
and will always be part of it.
You will be part of my future.
But eventually..
I will lose you again.
And I don't know if I can take that.
Just know that I'll always love you.