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Feb 2020
My depression is my ***** kitchen
Sink filled to the brim with ***** dishes
Old food left stuck in waiting
Much like the thoughts in my head,
I have to get water from the bathroom sink,
In theory rinsing them after sounds so easy
But just the thought reminds of the summer I spent working for my dad power washing old fences.

My depression is my unbrushed hair thrown in a bun everyday
Knots left stuck in waiting
Much like the thoughts in my head,
I tell people I do the same thing because I’m not good at doing hair but I used to love it,
In theory running a brush through it sound so easy
But just the thought reminds me of when I sprained both my wrists and my body starts to twinge

My depression is the fake teeth stuck in my mouth
Because self destruction was never an
Now it’s become another excuse to avoid connection
Much like the thoughts in my head

I tell people I’m shy
I tell people I don’t have much in common with anyone else
But in my head we’ve become best friends

My depression is the outside stillness
Because the unmatched chaos in my head leaves no energy for much else
It’s being tired after I’ve slept
It’s being hopeless after my personal church
It’s being trapped after another hand touches mine
It’s being mute with a series of novels to speak
It’s anesthesia awareness
It’s not being in a dungeon but being the dungeon itself
It’s being in a glass box all filled with water but a corner left of air
I’m pressed up against to breathe but keep gulping in water
Knowing it’s just a matter of time
Green Eyed Blues
Written by
Green Eyed Blues  La la land
(La la land)   
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