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Feb 2020 · 120
My Depression
Green Eyed Blues Feb 2020
My depression is my ***** kitchen
Sink filled to the brim with ***** dishes
Old food left stuck in waiting
Much like the thoughts in my head,
I have to get water from the bathroom sink,
In theory rinsing them after sounds so easy
But just the thought reminds of the summer I spent working for my dad power washing old fences.

My depression is my unbrushed hair thrown in a bun everyday
Knots left stuck in waiting
Much like the thoughts in my head,
I tell people I do the same thing because I’m not good at doing hair but I used to love it,
In theory running a brush through it sound so easy
But just the thought reminds me of when I sprained both my wrists and my body starts to twinge

My depression is the fake teeth stuck in my mouth
Because self destruction was never an
Now it’s become another excuse to avoid connection
Much like the thoughts in my head

I tell people I’m shy
I tell people I don’t have much in common with anyone else
But in my head we’ve become best friends

My depression is the outside stillness
Because the unmatched chaos in my head leaves no energy for much else
It’s being tired after I’ve slept
It’s being hopeless after my personal church
It’s being trapped after another hand touches mine
It’s being mute with a series of novels to speak
It’s anesthesia awareness
It’s not being in a dungeon but being the dungeon itself
It’s being in a glass box all filled with water but a corner left of air
I’m pressed up against to breathe but keep gulping in water
Knowing it’s just a matter of time
Oct 2019 · 157
Your Name Here
Green Eyed Blues Oct 2019
I hear your name every day
Against my will
Sometimes it starts in the morning
After a dream
Sometimes not long after waking up
In the songs I listen to while I drink my tea

Sometimes on licenses plates
Because it’s such a short ******* name
Sometimes being called out in the streets
Because it’s such a common ******* name

Sometimes buzzing in my brain
Honey soaked name
Sticks to the folds of my gray matter
While the white waits around for its weekly drip

Sometimes your name feels like Voldemort
Sometimes your name feels like a Crucifix
Sometimes your names feels like a direction
Sometimes your names feels like a 404 error
Sometimes your name feels like a bag around my head
Sometimes your name feels like a stepping stone
Sometimes your name feels like medicine
Sometimes your name feels like a sickness
Sometimes your name feels like home
Sometimes your name feels like an anti-hero
Sometimes your name feels like deprivation
Green Eyed Blues Oct 2019
Just thinking about being open to someone makes my body cringe
A harsh tingle curves my spine
And that’s  just the reaction  
To my mind

In real life all traces of attention and focus
Run away from me
And the sides of my eyes tinge black
If boldness was full bodied
I’d be a paper doll
All I can do is change outfits
Maybe add a new do
A nice winter scarf
Your favorite pair of my shoes

Little hints
Of something with dimensions
But nothing more

Rip me up when you start to see
The creases, the wrinkles
Maybe donate me to someone underprivileged
Sep 2019 · 130
Non dominance
Green Eyed Blues Sep 2019
Love me without motive
Fill me not with void
When we spoon
Grasp me when your non dominant hand
So when your knife fingers cut right through me
Your aim isn’t as accurate
Mar 2019 · 158
Trail of Crumbs
Green Eyed Blues Mar 2019
Where have you been my poet friend?
My forest without trees
My honey ***
With its side cracked
Repelling all the bees

Where have you gone?
My unfinished song
My note without a tune
My secret long unkept
Lyrically eating with a spoon

In your absence
I’ve cleaned trash from streets
Planted and picked a garden of lovely sweets
And even felt the kiss of eternal peace
But still I speak
to the aberration in the room

Forthwith forthright
Shaken by my runes
I leave a trail of crumbs
Leading to my tomb
Mar 2019 · 265
The Dance Of Opposition
Green Eyed Blues Mar 2019
Georgette wrinkled by force
And will
Spun by universal magnet
Small space between sets of finger tips
Open a room woozy and uncertain
A reunion grasped right and held close
A team of hips sway in rudimentary crass
sartorius pronouncements like that of fine tongue
Linger in wisps of flair
Elegant syncopation lifts the heaviest of airs  
chaînés chaînés chaînés chaînés
Mar 2019 · 169
Cooperative Components
Green Eyed Blues Mar 2019
If you want to get to know me
Don’t speak
I’ve placed myself here
With elegant intention
In observation
In purpose
Your un-will
Has met mine
And they have entangled
To create new
Feb 2019 · 106
Green Eyed Blues Feb 2019
I ate your truth
Of fermented fruit
It left me dizzy in a sense of self
Jan 2019 · 161
Gone Fishin’
Green Eyed Blues Jan 2019
Time went fishing
Caught a boot
Rocked the boat
Stained refute
Belly Hungered
Persistent ache
Then to tip
From his self made wake
Jan 2019 · 188
Rid Myself
Green Eyed Blues Jan 2019
If I ever rid myself
I’m not sure if I would
Jan 2019 · 277
Truth Be Told
Green Eyed Blues Jan 2019
Feed my soul with words that have meaning
Even if they’re not pretty
I don’t want shallow attempts
to paint the truth with limited false belief
I want substance
Even when the truth is covered in blemishes that gush black informality
Even when the truth exhales acidic breath
Even when the truth looks like untamed locks
Even when the truth looks like the translucent veil between pain and sanity
Even when the truth has bonded with chemical receptivity  
Even when the truth is vulnerable and shaking
Even when the truth feels like drinking fire

I want to roll around in reality and determine for myself what is “good” and what is “bad”
Jan 2019 · 196
Green Eyed Blues Jan 2019
Weak and fair eyed
Tongue to teeth
Cavities set in
Life's too sweet
Sung high notes
Ears began to bleed
And all the while
You cling to greed
Jan 2019 · 130
White Noise Sonata
Green Eyed Blues Jan 2019
I listen for one voice in maze of white noise
Nonsense dribbles in and pounds on a drum
Startling me into a ****** plateau
Fluctuations are never wanted more
A cliff to crumble beneath my being
Or a sea to crash me ashore
White noise taunts me
The ghost of a ghost
Withers against the deep curve of my back
Posture writhing in tension
Heart beats in subtle frequency
And blatant apprehension
Music, I crave music
Jan 2019 · 247
Sand Paper Man
Green Eyed Blues Jan 2019
Annoyance to clarify
The leftover boundaries when sweeping life into dustpan
Deficiencies that crawl up your esophagus
And claw at your gag relax until your mouth is forced open and you spit out a bulk of *******
You really had no control
It’s not your fault so you move on to more pleasantries and pretense of pretending and a never ending
A repetition
A decomposition
Of who you are
Until you stumble upon something with a sparkle and you do your damndest to make that **** dull
Dec 2018 · 204
APex? Oh heck
Green Eyed Blues Dec 2018
Sitting on top an apex
My legs started to fall asleep
Stood up for a few seconds
Fell to the bottom
Oct 2018 · 130
Meaty Topography
Green Eyed Blues Oct 2018
I tire
Of fire
My skin
In need
Of rest

An eye can see
Each moment
That I lived

Dents and such
Wrinkles much
Jun 2018 · 145
The last of nine lives
Green Eyed Blues Jun 2018
There’s a little piece of poetry
Rotting there in vain
Sectioned black
A vermin snack
Cashing in its fame

And on rainy days
It sits and gathers glove
And for a moment it
Unbeknownst to love

As confusion sets
A sudden rush of peace
A wish in vain
Reaching out
to the latest priest

Last read rights
Sitting tight
Waiting for it’s time
The day at last
When it out ran
The cheetah of its prime
Green Eyed Blues Dec 2017
There is an upending resistance
That is my equivalent in every way
Energetically we are all related
Some us just feel more remorse
Which is noble only in the most human of ways
Nov 2017 · 201
Paper Cuts
Green Eyed Blues Nov 2017
I can't say that I've made the best decisions
There is constant dividing
a crippling devision
Atmospheric focal point
of a five foot incision
Viewing seconds in awareness
of foreboding circumcision
An optical submission
Leaving every thought and opinion    cleanly risen
In a prison
Of supervision
Burning the cuts on my fingers
Squeezing lemons of ambition
Nov 2017 · 211
Green Eyed Blues Nov 2017
Lack of Pain = Lack of Poetry
And that hurts.
Oct 2017 · 208
Bid You Well
Green Eyed Blues Oct 2017
Competitively dysfunctional

In lightheartedness and aloof

Teeter tottering

Puddings in the proof

I'm stuffed
Belly all a swell

Nothings best
Nothings left
But to bid you well
Sep 2017 · 217
Green Eyed Blues Sep 2017
It's good to have limitations
Not expectations
Except sometimes it's good to expect no limitations
Sep 2017 · 199
Grieving Grief
Green Eyed Blues Sep 2017
Grieving grief
As most of us are apt to do
Startling reflections
Seen in a whole new view
Stifling malaise
Giving up obscenity
For glowing window blaze
The night can't get much darker
Until comes a brighter phase
Grieving grief
Like a moon starved sage
Sep 2017 · 335
Insanely Absolute Certainty
Green Eyed Blues Sep 2017
If I made it through the night
Believing you weren't my own
Would your blood be effervescent
With oddities?
Would they raise ideas,
Possibilities of possibilities?
Would boundlessness ensue?
Would you be barefoot of
Illogical unrarities?
I would fall in line
But I have to have insanely absolute certainty.
Sep 2017 · 218
Effort With Progress
Green Eyed Blues Sep 2017
I can't disappear because I won't
My reach is limited
But can easily be changed in the hardest way
Resistance can be reduced
Energetic pulses
Sep 2017 · 185
Green Eyed Blues Sep 2017
Through the fire,
The window,
And six screams,

Were visions of

Elegantly placed

Dainty airy things

Of heads and legs
And wings

Mouths emitting

Orbs of shiny tings

Fingers that painted
Wind like circled dreams

I froze,  
My mind stilled

My breath
Blowing off steam
Aug 2017 · 267
Green Eyed Blues Aug 2017
We would always get petty
Not for the sake of being petty
But for the sake of love
Love if not anything is growth
from little to better
Aug 2017 · 216
Tattered Weather
Green Eyed Blues Aug 2017
It's different when the weather starts to wear
When the insects sound ****** and refrain
When the sky begins the tear
And the moon begins to wane

When storms hesitate to speak
And the rain begins to wile
When the wind neglects to keep
And the world calms for just a while

It's similar to fare
Indebted to such recourse
For the burden we do bear
The calm ends with wretched force
Green Eyed Blues Aug 2017
A hello from my Estranged Acidic Lover
Mixed with the scent of Lysol Wipes
I was using to scrub the Oven Door
Left me with a Metalic Taste
That raised my Iron Levels
I grew Irritable and Irrational
The beads of my sweat turned Silver
Plink plink fell to The Ground
With a heavy Speed
So I grabbed my Broom and Dustpan
Swept up the teared Weight
Covering the Floor
Before I could Slip
And threw them in the Trash
Aug 2017 · 207
Circus Equipment
Green Eyed Blues Aug 2017
We are holding the same spot
In different spaces
It's confusing
Like a ring
For energy
To jump through
We stand still
It passes
We are not the Tamer
Or the lion
Jul 2017 · 178
Green Eyed Blues Jul 2017
We call everything with a predictable outcome attractive.
Jul 2017 · 166
Farming without effort
Green Eyed Blues Jul 2017
Seeing so many signs
I'm scared I'm schizophrenic
An injection needed
Individual pandemic
Destruction is the only cure
Beading my head slowly

Just enough to ensure
Of the gap I muddled over
Be faintly seen
In obvious undercover
A seed of confusion
That never grows
But remains securely
In precise finger poked rows
Jul 2017 · 151
My Mantra
Green Eyed Blues Jul 2017
I'm beautiful because of what I embody
Not my body
Jul 2017 · 164
Green Eyed Blues Jul 2017
I think if you tried one more time
You'd be surprised with your results.
Green Eyed Blues Jun 2017
Dusty sky
Grounds taken assault
Fireworks going off
And we're all at fault

Running into locked doors
Making fists
Bite my tongue
Hold back my own wrist

Causes what is life
When it all starts to switch
It's all broke
Still see no need to fix

Windows shake
At the will of bass
Move my hips
Squish my face

What's this taste
Salted rim
Dressed in black
Speech is grim

Taking steps
Left face then about
Pull my hair
Live in the clouds

It can't rain
If your looking above it
Ignore the atmosphere  
Forget all about it

Wear some boots
Stomp around
Ain't no feeling here
It's all blocked by the sound

If just for a moment
You could forget who you are
Could live the opposite
Breathing in tar

The world would be at a stand still
Milled in movement
No space to breath
No spot for improvement
Always the teacher
Never the student
Who wants to be told what they already know
Rather freeze in weather
Breathe in the snow

Icicle eyes
Blue lips
Keeping shaking baby
Then nothing can slip
Jun 2017 · 332
Pull N Push
Green Eyed Blues Jun 2017
It's taken a bit of time to get used to the pull of the push
The electricity you give off has left me seizing
Often I find myself on my hands and knees
Flooded and grieving
Little memories with large headstones
Read such a short lived life
But as it goes the good die young
It's what hits the hardest
Squandered potential
At the will of living ghosts
What could've been
And what was so close
We became restricted by pieces that don't exist
By walls and ropes and chains and cuffs
And gaps and mountains and ridges and bluffs
I'm walking on both feet but **** my
mind has landed somewhere else
And on impact has completely split in two
From the pull and the push of being swept up in you
Jun 2017 · 377
Magical Torture
Green Eyed Blues Jun 2017
Letters on pigeon
Or sent in a bottle
Love is nothing like the movies
You just give it away without
Knowing if it gets received or reciprocated or reviewed
And then nothing else because love doesn't expect anything in return
It's magical torture
Jun 2017 · 315
Cuckoo Clock
Green Eyed Blues Jun 2017
You've left me breathless
Silence is my fortress
And If I step behind me
The hands on the clock will spin uncontrollably
Along with my head
My eyes would look like the Cat on a cuckoo clock
Frantically aware of each passing hour
May 2017 · 899
Impromptu Reminiscence
Green Eyed Blues May 2017
Impromptu reminiscence,

You said you bled black
But even the spot where you would park
Is shimmering in rainbow

How vexing it is for you to hear
Every time you attempted to
You simply left shine

Occasionally the mask we wear gives away more than our face ever could

And the hammer to break the box that reads "just in case"
Is,not hidden, in your left side pocket

What you want is yours when you believe you deserve it
In fact you already have it
You've just forgot where you last set it
Train of thought poetry
May 2017 · 233
Love In Conflict 10w
Green Eyed Blues May 2017
God himself told me let him go
      Still I couldn't
Green Eyed Blues May 2017
There's rivers and dirt roads
That lead people places
No one ever goes

The asphalt, I can't quite tell if it's worn   because it's covered in squatters

How is anyone ever going to get out if they trap each other in?
May 2017 · 285
All This Construction
Green Eyed Blues May 2017
Perfection is inauthentic
And I'm craving something genuine
The spark when two stones are in conflict
All this construction is making me sick
Noise pollution
Wasted funds
Smell of acetone  
Suffocating gusts of dust
Repression of all that's human-like
Terrified to be reminded of what we are
Prone to err and impermanent
May 2017 · 208
Without Means of Motion
Green Eyed Blues May 2017
I watch my arm hang off the edge of the bed and picture myself blue
Will of passion has been dead since before I even knew
Being human is to watch yourself decay
While you scramble to stop it
Grabbing glue to stick on skin
That's molded and rotten
Duct taping limbs
And using cork to hold back brains seeping from your mouth
It's getting hurried to the brink of death, yes just before, then being forgotten
To stare at the finish line without means of motion for an eternity
May 2017 · 422
Green Eyed Blues May 2017
You will never be as alive as you are now
Quit acting dead
Strategy is for fools who will waste away trying to outwit fate
May 2017 · 217
Untitled is Fitting
Green Eyed Blues May 2017
You never come when I want you too
Never when my skin sweats your name
Or when my lungs break for your scent
Or when my bones walk in vain
I'm unsure what to call it, but if I were to guess, it would be closer to manipulation than love
May 2017 · 287
Ownership as a verb
Green Eyed Blues May 2017
A dark entity
Gained entry
All I could do was watch
As he rancorously entered me
The manner of his position was
zig zag with sharp corners
He hunched rolling his neck with each push
A distasteful pleasure marked my outsides
A familiar feeling to the rest
I was stuck still in peaceful protest
Now he's apart of me he said
Each centimeter locked in my chest
Afterwards he sat downing a relieving sigh
As his eyes scanned my naked body
Trumpeting to himself she is now mine
May 2017 · 223
Silence in Perfect Pitch
Green Eyed Blues May 2017
I can sing an empty tune
Air in perfect pitch
A silent temptress
Moaning inadvertently
Who should I become?
Now that I've ridden the wave of these vibrations?
And laid in the sweat
That I pored from ancient temptations
Romance is simplicity
But how I quake in the pupil of complexity
And sometimes your over composition
Gives offense and is blind.
    Along with my five feelings a minute
But it works because you bore easy
The flaw lies in our trained disposition
    Of unempathetic nervous systems
Placing bets
Because assupmtion feeds more mouths than a herd of cattle ever could
Train of thought poetry
May 2017 · 241
Green Eyed Blues May 2017
Is the only
Thing you
Can't manipulate
May 2017 · 1.5k
"Welcome to Shaboom Shaboom"
Green Eyed Blues May 2017
Even in certain circles in certain minds
in certain frames at certain times
We can't know what's true
And misconstrue can ring like
Miss you too

Self titles
Reign demeaning
And a finished product
Watched like a B-Rated pre-screening
Fed my gray matter
But the rest of me is depleting

Craig Morgan's playing baseball
Elliot Smith in the background screaming
Drinking OJ, it's how the Kardashians got there money,
Nothing good even came from the cover, trust me it didn't.

"She's in your hands now
Treat her like a Princess
You gotta respect her mind and her body"

"Welcome to Shaboom Shaboom"
Apr 2017 · 882
Egoic Revelation
Green Eyed Blues Apr 2017
The truth is the truth
Even if it's a lie
In misconception,
Lurking nearby,
Is a revelation
From which no one can hide
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