I'm so
******* envious
of everyone
who can say
"Fine,"
When asked
how they're doing
and not feel
the weight of guilt
sitting on their chest
because
That "fine"
Is a lie.

I'm so
******* envious
of the kids
who can wear
short sleeves
in the summer
and not feel
the people staring
(disturbed)
at all the scars
that run
like white ladders
up and down
their arms.

I'm so
******* envious
of the girl
who can laugh
and smile
and not have to worry
that when
she stops
she'll never have
the strength
to start up
again.