i'm 18 but still not grown enough for this.
i'm not grown enough to call the police when things are scary again.
i'm not grown enough to hold my head up high, holding the world down for my family.

i can't comfort everyone again.
i can't be the rock that you're expecting me to be right now.

that night, i couldn't stop shaking.
i could barely form words to reassure my sister that no, she doesn't need to worry, it's all okay,
it's going to be okay.

the shaking brought me back to the me i was when my parents made my life fall apart for the first time.
i heard from everyone that things like that make you grow up faster than other kids but it was times like these were,
somehow,
i'm still that small, scared, shaking kid.

18 now and 19 later this year,
i'm still a kid.
let me be a kid, a normal kid,
just once.