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Jan 2020
why do you fight so hard with
tooth and nail and brittle bones
when the world does not even
give a **** about how much you have
screamed have cried have proven yourself
to be everything everyone demanded
from you why do you desire
so deeply to show yourself as strong
as fierce as you do when you lose enough sleep
at night your dreams full and festering with
your demons all which are alive and are
dead and teeming with foul whispers and
baleful eyes that you never fail to
see as you pass by any reflective surface and
catch glimpses of sullen eyes people have
said to be so so dead countless times
a manifestation of your flawless ability to
be special smart skilled an ace
a prodigy a golden child with
golden hands and a golden heart full of
rot that was once something pure
something kind
you are sick you are twisted you are
a shadow of what people see what people
think what people want what you
could be had you not been so selfish with the
inability to accept that you cannot be a
hero without being the hero why
are you so angry where does this
rage come from that you treat it like
a weapon a shield a lifeline
a punishment you cannot hold keep
to yourself just as you should
you dive headfirst blindeyed into fire and
wallow madly at the pain and cry
tears hot as blood searing as the pain
you have entangled yourself in for you
have such an appetite for light so much
greed that you choose to ignore how much you
have let the shadows eat away at your soul
you are brilliant you are selfish you are
terrible and dangerous like
coals feeding the light until it
is all but gone you are a
fire prone to consuming itself until
only charred walls remain
a reminder of the child who burned
itself out for all the things
denied from it by the world and
by itself
greed's appetite has all but an end to it

even with a jumble of words i am left discontent with myself
Written by
ame  17/F/PH
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