how do you stop the sad?
the sad that leaves you crying
on the shower floor,
the sad that makes you angry,
that makes you want to scream and run,
run far, far away.
the sad that hope that,
if you run nobody would come looking
just to prove to yourself that
they don’t care, just as you suspected.
how do you stop the sad
that make food feel like poison,
makes tears feel like needles
dragging down your face,
calling out that you’re weak
for not being able to handle
the emotions running through you
or the anxiety coursing through your veins.
how do you stop the sad
that makes your throbbing head spin
and keeps your tired eyes open
when all you want to do is sleep
for a million years,
because even though sleep
doesn’t stop the sad, it freezes it.
how do you stop the sad
that you thought had gone away,
that you hadn’t felt in months,
that you hadn’t thought about in months,
that crept up like a monster
the moment you set foot in that house.
how do you stop the sad
that doesn’t even feel like an emotion,
that leaves you drained and wondering,
is happy even real?
please, someone tell me -
i’m begging on all fours -
how do you stop the sad
because i’ve never felt quite this bad.