Dec 2019
Have I ever lived if I say
I've never felt this way?
Have I been thinking to real
Denying all I'm starting to feel?
Have I been too sceptical
To experience the end of all?
Have I been stupid
The things I rid?
I'm loving for the first time
After so many times I tried?
Did I never care a dime.
Had I such a blurry sight?
Or maybe I've never felt this
Because it hurts a lot
It's a feeling I won't miss
A feeling I haven't been brought.
To fall for someone who
Makes it complicated
Because he is in love with two
and you're the one who's overrated.
To fall for someone you'd die for
And he would die for you
However there's someone more
who'd die for him too.
As in a chess game I have lost
However, I keep my fingers crossed.
I've never felt this way?
Have I been thinking to real
Denying all I'm starting to feel?
Have I been too sceptical
To experience the end of all?
Have I been stupid
The things I rid?
I'm loving for the first time
After so many times I tried?
Did I never care a dime.
Had I such a blurry sight?
Or maybe I've never felt this
Because it hurts a lot
It's a feeling I won't miss
A feeling I haven't been brought.
To fall for someone who
Makes it complicated
Because he is in love with two
and you're the one who's overrated.
To fall for someone you'd die for
And he would die for you
However there's someone more
who'd die for him too.
As in a chess game I have lost
However, I keep my fingers crossed.
I've loved before, but I know I've been toxic in my way of love, and they were toxic to me too... I feel like I'm in love, real love for the first time with someone who's caring, sweet and nice, I know it's not the first time for me, it just doesn't feels the same as before... It feels nice to feel loved, appreciated, necessary but also... As if I'm a good person, deserving of his kind words and gentle touches. But even though he loves me too, he's taken, and off limits. She's been making him happy for a long time, even before I passed along. And I want him to stay happy, because he makes me happy, it's what he deserves. All is fair in love and war, yet I always tend to play chess according to the rules... And even though I hate the pain and I love this warm, soft,... gentle feeling, I'm gonna throw down my king and...... checkmate, I lost...
