Dec 2019
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There is no Hamster #1-3
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The Hamster wakes up,
pounces straight out of bed.
He oils himself up from hip to head.
He goes to work in a big machine.
It turns and turns, round and round he churns.
Rodent mouths stand agape at his speed.
He’s an important hamster; he has his own wheel.
There’s a card on his desk, it’s his one year birthday.
“1-year-old me? I thought it’s just another Thursday.”
All his friends join in, from rodents to whales.
There is a big party, he even gets some tail.
Next morning he wakes, it feels like a new dawn.
“One year? I can’t believe it… A third of my life is gone.”
He has a moment of crisis – “Is this all there to life is?
It’s time for me to face the bitter truth.
Just for money, I’ve given up my youth.”
He skips work and goes for a sip in a bar.
From the corner of his eye he spots a Sloth.
Just idling on the couch, chewing on a leaf.
It could be food, but more likely it’s ****.
Next to him sits a dog, slobbering.
“Excuse me Mr. Hamster, sorry for bothering.
I couldn’t help but notice, you seem to be in a mood.
Your furry whites are a shade too blue.”
The Hamster says, “Let me ask you something.
If you could do anything, what would be that one thing?”
“Oh dear, I don’t think about this poo.
I am a dog, I am happy, no point thinking through.”
Eavesdropping, a parrot glides in.
“Why, that’s a silly attitude my friend.”
Life is what you make it, says the bird.
And promptly flies away, dropping another giant ****.
A Tortoise strolls in, and takes a seat.
“No rush, Bartender. I’ll have a whiskey, neat.”
Struck by awe, the hamster enquires.
“Sir, did you ever find what your heart desires?”
“Ah young Hamster, there is no magic spell.
Every night before I sleep, I look inside my shell.
I don’t know your truth, but one thing I can tell you:
it’s that you should look inside your shell too.
It takes time, and you do have to go far.
Before you were born, I was already on my way to this bar.”
The hamster leaves to do what hamsters do,
Ticket to India: “hello, just passing through.”
Spend a week in Goa, and start doing Yoga.
Takes care of his mind, and no sugar or soda.
And so after a week, the prodigal pup returns.
His mind is clear, he starts his own little firm.
He makes time to be outside with his horde,
Energy renewed, not a single day he’s bored.
Another week passes, and all is well.
Many pits of despair, he saw but never fell.
And one day he finds a large present in his room.
“Where did this come from?” – no one has a clue.
He feels a wet tail, as it starts to reveal,
“Oh my god, not this, not a Hamster Wheel.”
----
Hamster Facts:
- Hamsters have a lifespan of 3 years (depends on breed)
- Hamsters have scent glands in the hip area. They groom themselves to spread the oils secreted from these glands all over their bodies.
- A baby Hamster is called a “pup”. A group of them is called a “horde”.
- Wet Tail is a common disease in Hamsters, usually caused by stress or a sugary diet (but may have other causes)
----
There is no Hamster #1-3
----
The Hamster wakes up,
pounces straight out of bed.
He oils himself up from hip to head.
He goes to work in a big machine.
It turns and turns, round and round he churns.
Rodent mouths stand agape at his speed.
He’s an important hamster; he has his own wheel.
There’s a card on his desk, it’s his one year birthday.
“1-year-old me? I thought it’s just another Thursday.”
All his friends join in, from rodents to whales.
There is a big party, he even gets some tail.
Next morning he wakes, it feels like a new dawn.
“One year? I can’t believe it… A third of my life is gone.”
He has a moment of crisis – “Is this all there to life is?
It’s time for me to face the bitter truth.
Just for money, I’ve given up my youth.”
He skips work and goes for a sip in a bar.
From the corner of his eye he spots a Sloth.
Just idling on the couch, chewing on a leaf.
It could be food, but more likely it’s ****.
Next to him sits a dog, slobbering.
“Excuse me Mr. Hamster, sorry for bothering.
I couldn’t help but notice, you seem to be in a mood.
Your furry whites are a shade too blue.”
The Hamster says, “Let me ask you something.
If you could do anything, what would be that one thing?”
“Oh dear, I don’t think about this poo.
I am a dog, I am happy, no point thinking through.”
Eavesdropping, a parrot glides in.
“Why, that’s a silly attitude my friend.”
Life is what you make it, says the bird.
And promptly flies away, dropping another giant ****.
A Tortoise strolls in, and takes a seat.
“No rush, Bartender. I’ll have a whiskey, neat.”
Struck by awe, the hamster enquires.
“Sir, did you ever find what your heart desires?”
“Ah young Hamster, there is no magic spell.
Every night before I sleep, I look inside my shell.
I don’t know your truth, but one thing I can tell you:
it’s that you should look inside your shell too.
It takes time, and you do have to go far.
Before you were born, I was already on my way to this bar.”
The hamster leaves to do what hamsters do,
Ticket to India: “hello, just passing through.”
Spend a week in Goa, and start doing Yoga.
Takes care of his mind, and no sugar or soda.
And so after a week, the prodigal pup returns.
His mind is clear, he starts his own little firm.
He makes time to be outside with his horde,
Energy renewed, not a single day he’s bored.
Another week passes, and all is well.
Many pits of despair, he saw but never fell.
And one day he finds a large present in his room.
“Where did this come from?” – no one has a clue.
He feels a wet tail, as it starts to reveal,
“Oh my god, not this, not a Hamster Wheel.”
----
Hamster Facts:
- Hamsters have a lifespan of 3 years (depends on breed)
- Hamsters have scent glands in the hip area. They groom themselves to spread the oils secreted from these glands all over their bodies.
- A baby Hamster is called a “pup”. A group of them is called a “horde”.
- Wet Tail is a common disease in Hamsters, usually caused by stress or a sugary diet (but may have other causes)
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