Heartache Poem 1:
Guess what, princess?
You don’t get to be selfish
Your heart wasn’t the only one on the line
Your feelings aren’t the only ones that matter
You tell me that you hope your happiness doesn’t make me miserable and then you go and snap my heart over and over and over until all that’s left is dust
I should have listened when you said you were a disaster
I should have taken heed of your warnings
I should have believed you when you told me ruin every relationship you have
Am I supposed to take pity on you?
I get evicted from your heart and I’m supposed to tell you “I hope everything gets better!”?
You were my universe, intertwined with my dreams, the girl who told me she can’t tell where she ends and I begin
And now you want us to be casual acquaintances
Sure, of course, sorry let me just bust out the vacuum and **** all my feelings back in, sorry for getting them all over you, my bad
Sorry I ever let you hold my hand
Sorry I ever let you make me smile
Sorry I ever gave you anything I should have locked tight and held snug to my chest
I let you carry my heart in your palm because you led me to assume you would give your life to keep it from getting hurt
Three days ago you looked me right in the eyes and dropped it, raised your foot, then stomped it into the ground until I was dizzy with despair
I can feel it physically
This sickness in my stomach
My intestines have tied themselves into Chinese knots
You pulled at my heartstrings harder and harder and watched as they snapped and unraveled in your hands
Like an hourglass my life is upended and flowing out of control
Slipping water-like through my fingers
I deny it, then bargain, then deny, then get angry and angry, and then I get depressed, and then I’m almost about to accept it when I begin to bargain and then get angry and then bargain and deny and get depressed, bargain, angry, depressed, deny, angry, deny, deny, bargain, angry, depressed!
I will not worship you anymore
I cannot see you smile, I cannot hear your voice, I cannot look in your eyes and know they’re not allowed to mean anything to me anymore, when last week they were my prized possessions
I’m meant to throw my diamonds in the bonfire so it can ignite your spirit?
And mine is nowhere to be found
They say when a heart breaks it does not break evenly
Thank you for the chip off of yours
I hope you have room for all of mine on your wall

Heartache Poem 2:
It is like the last day before an execution
It doesn’t quite feel real
Life is so normal that death doesn’t seem real
My love for you is so ingrained into my existence it seems like it’s own living being
One I worshiped
I have an altar
It seemed so immortal
How do you **** a god?
I have to say I truly did not believe this day would come
Not until the blade began its ascent on my neck
And yet, somehow, I still believed you’d pull me out just in time
Give me that springtime smile and weave our fingers together like a tapestry
Partners in love again
But no
The head of my heart is in a basket next to your feet
If only this were less fiction
Because decapitation is swift and void of pain
Instead I lie in a vat of boiling oil
My skin slowly peels off in layers and layers
Slow, slow, slow
Just put me out of my misery
The oil reaches my eyes
I can’t look at you without tears
The oil pours through my ears
I can’t hear your voice without wanting to scream
The oil coats my lips
I can’t speak to you without wanting to wanting to kiss and shove you away all at once
The oil fills my lungs and then surrounds my heart and slow cooks my mind
I pray it burns away the remnants of you first, before freedom is granted at last
So my last moment can be free from you and the reminder that you put me here
Wrapped your arms sweetly around my waist, kissed up my neck, and then pulled my feet out from under me so I dove headfirst into the agony
Surely every criminal would confess if subjected to this brand of torture
But I know that the even this white hot oil can’t erase you
You will be my last thought before, and my first thought after
Even being sent to hell would be a reward
Oh I would sacrifice anything for you without a word
I guess I’ll sacrifice myself

Heartache Poem 3:
What was I thinking?
Oh god, what was I thinking?
Would you take me back, now, even after?
I really underestimated it all, I have to say
I was so worried about how you would hold up after the end that I didn’t quite leave room to think about me
It’s all so much worse than I could’ve imagined
Just a throbbing ache in my gut
So ever-present, barely letting me go a second without you wandering through my thoughts
Do you ever think about me?
Did you think about me?
How much did you love me?
Enough to let me go, or not enough to keep me?
I wish I had clung tighter
I was foolish, I thought separating would free me
I think about you more now
Will the demon sitting on my abdomen ever move on?
It is exhausting to carry around the extra weight
The weight of watching the girl you love sail away on a boat, and the bow line is sliding through your hands, and by the time you realize what’s happening the last inch of rope has slipped through your grasp like a fish and she’s floating away
I know I don’t need you but I want you
Weren’t we meant to love each other?
We seemed to compliment each other so well
Can’t you see how we even each other out?
You were just the right height so that my head nestled nicely under your chin, like a puzzle piece
We were always like puzzle pieces
Everyone says that they’re there for me, but you’re the only one I would go to
I have to fight instinct when I type your name instead of “love” or “angel” or “princess”
My hand, too, is alone, and it’s awfully cold
I feel like I’m living someone else’s life
Watching through a lens
Everything is so unrecognizable
The sunshine got drained from my world
Every laugh, every grin, every joke just seems a little more dull
Like someone covered my life in plastic wrap, and I can see but I can’t quite touch
Because it’s really just not the same life without you in it, huh?
It’s so selfish to want you now, but with my young heart can you blame me for not knowing any other way?
I’d like to shut down for a while
Fade away
And when I come back, I’d like my heart to not make the return trip
Oh the trouble it has caused me
Silly thing
So inconvenient
I love love, but it seems to hate me