There’s something about a first love

They are the ones that will give you the sweet first taste of love
and all the butterflies and chills that swing along with it

The first of many that you will be vulnerable to
but the only one that will never lose your heart

I fear for a day where I will no longer feel love towards this old friend of mine
but I fear more that it will never stop

Anger and sorrow and missing the one who refuses to detach from your mind
will cause a war within yourself
and a heartbreak only you could ever know

Situations like these you may find yourself looking for a solution in places or people
that cannot fill the void forever

You may try to medicate yourself with poison
but when the high is over, the lows creep back around
and dance in your mind till you cant cope with the pressure of the rhythm they dance to.

My pillow is soaked and my lips are salty

A long hard stare in the mirror and puffy red eyes and burning hot cheeks
leave me with nothing less than hate for the one whos made me appear this way

**** love.

I was the one who took your ******* and I was the one always there
I loved you when you gave me a thousand reasons not to

I want to say no fair, but I was the one who took your *******,
and I was the one who loved and forgave you when I knew I shouldn’t have

My bad

But you see, there's something about a first love

He was never going to change
and deep down I knew that

I was stuck on the good memories
though the construction of those have came to a halt

I made myself vulnerable
and opened my heart to someone who never intended on keeping it safe.

One day, however, I will find myself freed from the madness and aching
and his image in my mind won't be so tense

And I will recover with the only medicine I ever needed,
self worth.