I count the scars..
The ones I try to hide
The ones I am so ashamed of
The new ones and the old ones
Thinking how easy it all could end
How easy I could shut off the dreams
The ones I have every night haunting my sleep
The ones that make me scared to close my eyes
In fear that I'll see his face
I know it's already over
I'm counting the days
To be brave enough to do it
To fall off the edge I'm dangling
I'm so alone..
People all around, but I can't scream
In fear that I'll drag them down with the rest,
Of my victims
I'm already so cold inside
I long to feel the warmth
And I know I'm hurting everyone around me
But I'm blinded and I can't see
The light that used to be there
I just sit drowning in my pain
Seeping into me and spreading like venom
I keep messing up, making a new mess
There's a trail that I'm so frantic to clean up
But the past has been written
I cannot rewrite the ink
It soaks into my skin
There reminding me all the time
Screaming at me
What purpose is there for a failure?
For someone so damaged?
So dark, and broken?
I can't see it
And I can't feel it
I think I've lost what matters most...
My faith