i never wanted to ask about the omnipotence of god
and yet i did
i never wanted to ask if my body is just a manifestation of ones and zeros
and yet i did
i never wanted to ask the possibility of life beyond us humans and animals
and yet i did
i never wanted to ask the very existence of each and every one of us
and yet i did

i never wanted to get the existential dread
nor did i want to get its manifestation in my head
i never wanted to have the disorder that i have
but yet
i did

and i knew that
from the moment i saw god himself
like a reflection from a mirror
looking straight into my eyes
he told me
"you had to do it
because someone has to"