a few bad experiences.
okay,
a lot of bad experiences.
and Okay,
they were really, really bad experiences.

all left me on my knees begging for something i didn't even realize i didn't need.
for years, i wanted to hide.
i wanted to close my heart to everyone that bat their eyelashes at me.
i was beyond of afraid.
i don't want a really, really bad experience again.

but,
now i realize i won't.
okay, maybe i will
but i know it won't hurt as much as it used to or it would if it was past me.
that isn't me anymore and every person is different.

so,
i will let them in.
my hands may shake and the butterflies in my stomach may be a warning for me to flee,
but i won't.