I laid on the floor that night
I panicked when he told me to take off my clothes
I don’t know why
my stomach just felt uneasy
but I forced myself to do it
because he loved me
and I wanted him to be happy.
he loved me.
today, the uneasiness came back
if I didn’t do it, would he stop loving me?
I don’t want to lose him,
but my brain kept calling me names
“easy” “stupid”
and my brain said
“he’s not going to love you”
my brain got the best of me once again.
now im sitting alone with my thoughts
wishing i wasn’t such a broken person.
I don’t know. I don’t know. I just don’t know.
you dont know how you want me to touch you?
I don’t know.