In a drunken haze i stumble through the meadow

Toes entwine with milkweed and purple aster

I fall

Crawling through the tall grass
Vision blind
Dizzy
Dazed

My nail bitten fingers scratch at the dirt
Tasting the soil
Love me
Love me
Love me
I whisper

The birds rustle at the disturbance.

Brilliant, white, beautiful.
They become a frenzy of feathers in the sky.

Blocking out the sun.
taking all warmth.
They swoop down.

Wings, beaks, talons.
They tear at my skin.
Stealing its color.

The breath of their wings have stirred up dandelion fluff

Wishes dance in the air.

I inhale the delicately decayed flowers.

In a frantic attempt to lift me from me self hatred intoxication.

Instead i choke.
Wishes fill me up and I heave
Retching out my insides.
My esophagus, my appendix, my tonsils

My trust, my love, my dreams.
Everything the defines me
I remove
Becoming
Nothing but a hollow skeleton of what was.

I am left there shaking,
raw, ashamed, scared.