cold heart
cold veins
cold limbs
you can’t rouse me
when i’ve flatlined.
simply don’t care
your pain doesn’t bother me
though i’m the cause.
scream all you want
cry for my soul
it doesn’t matter
i’m quite content
to remain cold
this all-encompassing numb
is far preferable to feeling, caring

except...

There’s this bit of me
Desperate to feel
Aching to be aLiVE

What a dangerous combination
Apathy and desperation
I could do ANYTHING
I’ll take risks
Because why not??
Push myself as far as I’ll go
Out of sheer curiosity
Take that curve a bit too fast
Say what you know they’ll hate
Provoke them all
Like toys for a game
And of course,
Medicate to enjoy the day
Convince them you’re well
Let them believe you’re happy
Maybe even trick yourself...

but soon the day nears its end
lights dim and isolation grows loud
the highs wear off
each night lower than the last
i can’t wait to go numb....
TAKE IT AWAY

I’m unstable now.

Anything could happen.