i keep telling myself that i can't remember the last time i was happy
but deep down i know well

do i even know myself? i can't even tell
not within the past year or so, a shame but i don't ask for pity

it is all self inflicted
the only joy i retain is outweighed by the accumulation of pain

how do you cure your sadness
when it is also caused by the source of your happiness

tired of the flow
tired of the “NOs”

when will i ever be myself again?