there are too many Ifs in the world
If only I had made another choice
If I had thought that through
If they had stayed
If I looked different
If I could stop doing that
If and If and If and If

they fill my house
and my car
and where I work

I smell of Ifs
like the odor of cigarettes
on a life long chain smoker
the aroma of If emanates
from the cells of my body

we drown in Ifs

is If another way to ask why
without phrasing it
as a question

or is it an answer
to a question not asked
except in our
inmost places