Sometimes I catch myself
remembering the smile you had
when my fingers traced the lines of your face
your neck
shoulders
hips.
The way the sun came in through your windows.
The noise you'd make when I'd nudge you.
A reminder to wake up,
to hold me closer.
The warmth of your thin comfter
the only thing protecting us
from the day.

I want to pick up the phone
but I can't call you.
I won't ever hear your laugh.
Sometimes I worry
that my memories won't last.
I want to call and say:
Do you remember when we kissed for real.
When you looked at me and said
"I've been waiting for this
for a long time"

Now everything that existed
is just mine.
And no one will ever remember
how we shivered
under your thin comforter
hidden from the day.